My mum is living in the dark age

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By Bunmi

Dear Bunmi,

I urgently need someone to get my mum off my back! When she was in secondary school, she made the mistake of getting pregnant and dropped out of school.

After she had me, she met a man who encouraged her to go back to school. She did and trained as a nurse. They’re now married with two kids.

I am now 19 and my mum is afraid I’ll make the same mistake. As a result, I’m not allowed to date, talk unsupervised on the phone or even visit friends. She is virtually ruining my life! Sometimes, I get so depressed I want to have a fight with her.

My stepfather naturally supports her and my natural father is a bum or I would have opted to live with him. What can I do to make my mum realize I’m a young adult and could get a cell phone without telling her?

Elizabeth, by e-mail.

Dear Elizabeth,

I suspect that like most girls, you’re struggling to assert your independence. Not long ago, your mother was probably going through the very same thing. That’s when she became pregnant and decided to leave school- a decision she’s grown to r gret although it may be difficult for you to believe she loves you and wants to pare you her pam.

Of course, her rules are stifling enough to make you feel frustrated and depressed.

But you mustn’t let your mum’s over-protectiveness make you so angry and rebellious that you do something foolish. Next time you want to visit a friend, why not ask her mother to call yours to discuss the plans?

Talk to her about bringing home your boyfriend when she’s around so she could assess him and see he’s a nice and respectable man.

In other words, you have to demonstrate that you’re matured and responsible.

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