This might sound a bit as if I’m bragging but I’m so beautiful it’s almost ruining my life. I’m an undergraduate and have tried to make friends with other girls at the university I attend but they don’t seem interested.
One once asked me to a party with her friend but since then, I haven’t had a repeat invitation. I’m pretty sure it was because a lot of the guys at the party kept looking at me and not at them and they got jealous as a result.
I’ve also discovered that men seldom come up to talk to me at parties and
although everyone assumes I get asked out a lot, I don’t. It’s really starting to annoy me. It’s not my fault I look the way I do and I’m getting fed up of it influencing everyone so much. Women don’t like me and men are intimidated by me. How can I get people to focus on me and not on what I look like?
Christabel, by e-mail
Have you thought about being an interesting, kind and friendly person for a change? Even though I’d edited your mail because it was too long to publish I read all the many situations you detailed where people were blowed over by how gorgeous you are. What I didn’t get was any sense of you being aware of how self-obsessed and vain you are. Good-looking people can be a little intimidating at first but if they’re warm and friendly, others quickly warm up to them.
You must have obviously discovered that beauty opens doors but it doesn’t
mean you’re going to be embarrassed if that’s all you have going for you. If you want more friends, be friendly. Forget about yourself and focus on them instead.
Be interested in people, be curious about their lives. Do nice things to those you like. If you want a boyfriend, you must start making the effort to have a chat with guys you think you’d like. If you think you’re so jaw-dropping gorgeous that they’re intimated by your looks, being the one to make the first move removes any doubt that you’re both available and interested.
It’s not true, as you believe, that beautiful people are personalised for it, you must know of equally beautiful women who are extremely popular. The difference between them and you is that they don’t just define themselves by their looks but as people with something real to offer.